Directionless

I'm hopeless with directions in any city and in any language.

Because I spent many hours walking the streets of Paris when we first came here, I feel that I know many areas of the city. The bus lines, metro stops, major intersections.

If I don't know where I'm going, I print a map from the RATP website. It gives the start location, the correspondences and the stopping point with a nice map of the neighborhood where I'm going. GPS would be better, I'm still considering the French iPHONE.

I feel good about getting around, until a person asks for directions.

I must look french (I'm happy about this) or the people that ask must be desperate.

Today, I was at my own metro in my own neighborhood. We've lived here for three years but I've frequented this area for at least five years. A french woman approached me and asked for directions.

As usual, I panicked. I confess, I understood her question and I knew the answer. Why is this hard? I guess because there are several translations that are required -- linguistic and directional -- all in the same simple question. I hope this exercise helps with brain health in later life.

First, I have to translate the question from French to English. This is fairly instantaneous. Then, I have to figure out the directions. This takes place between the map in my brain and the English language. Then, I have to re-translate the answer back into French and answer the woman.

This all has to be done in the blink of an eye. Hurry, hurry! Where are we, where does she want to go, how do I say it?

Luckily hand signals are almost obligatory. I usually start with a hand signal or two. This is very authoritative in all cultures, I think. And, I can stall for another second or two to figure out the street, the verbs of direction (prenez, trouvez, suivez) and whether to turn right or left. Right and left are difficult for me in English.

Unfortunately, I am not the best person on the street for giving directions. I have given people incorrect directions before. Not on purpose, of course. I've even given American tourists incorrect information in English.

Even though I'll never see the person again, I feel very bad when I find out that I've given them misinformation. I'm directionless! It should be obvious.