Department of Motor Vehicles

It seems that some types of circumstances are universal worldwide, unfortunately.

One of them is dealing with civil servants. The State of California has been in financial trouble for several years. To help offset this crisis, state offices are closed for "furlough" days several times a month.

The already overburdened, overcrowded offices are now teeming with indignant, stressed-out customers trying to deal with the unhappy, underpaid, typically lazy civil servants.

I try to never deal with any of these offices. With the internet, until today, I've been successful.

Saturday (doesn't it always happen on a weekend) I got a notice from the DMV that I have to appear in person to renew my driver's license. Evidently, they are issuing new licenses with fingerprints and they wanted an up-to-date photo. I also needed to take a vision exam.

I didn't realize that if I am out of the country, I could have gotten an extension for up to one year. I guess you have to read the small print on page 14 of the 94 page document, "California Driver Handbook".

I cleared my calendar this morning, got up early and arrived at the DMV (a 40 minute drive) at 8 AM, opening time. I was about 200th in a long line (people without appointments) that snaked around the building. There were so many people that I couldn't find a spot to park in the lot and had to drive around on side streets until I found a place to park.

I got in line. Luckily it was warm, unlike France, where we are always standing outside the Prefecture de Police in sub-zero temperatures. But, it was early in the morning and the sun was low and right in our eyes.

The line was moving, slowly, but we made progress. I was inside the building by 10 AM, fifth in line to "take a number". At this point, a worker made an announcement that the computer systems, state-wide, were "down" and it would be at least 15-20 minutes before they could process anyone.

I thought that there would be a rush for the door, but no, no one budged and no one complained. We waited. Spanish was the predominant language, so I couldn't talk to my line-mates. There was even a homeless man with all his stuff in wheeled carts in line. I have no idea why he was there, since he obviously didn't have a car or all his worldly possessions would have been safely locked up.

We wait. My feet hurt, my back is in spasms. I'm missing my workout, I'm in hell.

Just when I think I can't take it any more, the system is restored. But, they don't start issuing numbers to our line. They clear the appointment line first, so we have to wait another 10 minutes for that.

Finally I get a number. I enter and sit down with about 100 people. We're sitting on little plastic chairs. Numbers are called but not quickly. I wait and wait. I pace around. No one else is pacing, they are all sitting quietly.

After another 20 minutes or so, my number is called. Everything goes smoothly, I pass the vision test, pay my $31. My last stop is the photo station.

I arrive at the photo station which is at the other side of the office. No one is there taking pictures. I wait awhile, no one comes, no one notices the line that is forming behind me of people that need their pictures taken. I call out to the people in the office, I can see them. Just like a French waiter, they see me but don't acknowledge me. I am now seething. I call and call. There are five people standing around, about five feet from me, laughing, talking, drinking coffee, telling about their weekend. Finally I get someone's attention and ask where is the photo person. He tells me that he'll go find them, but he goes back to talking. I scream some more. Finally, he comes over (it's obviously his post that was vacant) and takes my picture.

I'm outta there.